The Nurtured Heart Approach

 Developed by Howard Glasser

The Nurtured Heart Approach is a social curriculum that transforms character and spirit, giving one a deep conviction that they can cope with problems and succeed socially and emotionally.  This inner personal power is called inner wealth. 

Basic Concepts:  The Three-legged Table.

Always find the positive in any moment, and put your energy into it.

Find examples of moments where students are coping well, making good decisions, regaining self-control, and showing great character.  These examples are reflected back to children giving them an ever-growing body of evidence that they are valuable, competent, and belong in a positive life.

v “I notice” or “I see” - Reflect what the child is doing. “I see you came right to the table and sat down!” “You opened that by yourself” “I see you’re wearing red today.”

v “I appreciate” or “I like” + character word – An opportunity to appreciate the qualities that you want to see grow. “I like that you came right to the table and sat down. You are so respectful.” “You opened that by yourself like an older student.”

v Notice a child when he is not breaking the rules. “You walked right by him without touching him…how respectful!” “I didn’t hear one sound from you today. That’s really showing self control!”

v Ask a student to do something for you and then praise him/her for their helpfulness.

Refuse to put any energy into anything negative.

By not giving problems and poor choices a lot of your relationship time, attention and energy, you teach students that a) everybody has problems; b) they do not have to have problems in order to achieve relationship with adults; c) their positive behavior will lead to relational success; and, d) their problems do not defeat or upset you.  Problems become unnecessary as a way to gain relationship.

Always deliver a consequence when things go wrong.

There is no need for reminders, fussing, lectures, investigations, pep talks, or exceptions.  The rules are the rules and are enforced 24/7.  Calmly and strictly enforce the rules!  No exceptions!  Be a trooper.  The “game” is easy to learn and succeed at because the rules are clear.

v In Nurtured Heart the consequence is a consequence is a time out (pause, reset) that is kept short as a way of purposefully leading to further success. The time out is over when the child stops breaking the rule.

v Consequences are not about punishment…simply enforce the established consequence.

v After the consequence…it’s over. Praise students for what they are doing right!

It’s all about where you put your Energy! 
Our emotions and reactions are the prize. 
YOU ARE THE PRIZE!

 

To learn more about Howard Glasser and The Nurtured Heart Approach,
visit The Children's Success Foundation, homepage of The Nurtured Heart Approach.